Untitled

by Jasmine Hart

Published June 3, 2007

In Poetry

PreviousNext

It's funny how my words
All become so skewed
When they earn refuge
In your lost treasure casket
At last.

Comments & reviews · 9
User avatar
Jasmine Hart
Comment
Jasmine Hart commented Comment · Oct 19, 2007

Thanks for reading this.There is indeed! Care to take a guess? (I'll only tell if you guess correctly!)Heehee.

User avatar
[deleted1]
Comment
[deleted1] commented Comment · Oct 19, 2007

Jasmine Hart wrote:It's funny how my words
All become so skewed
When they earn refuge
In your lost treasure casket
At last.


It's a very simple, and short poem. Is there a meaning to this?

User avatar
ninja-Z
Comment
ninja-Z commented Comment · Aug 30, 2007

huh? what happened? is it over? :smt101

User avatar
Fan
Comment
Fan commented Comment · Aug 29, 2007

I liek this. At first I thought it was haiku then after some headbanging I remembered Haiku has less lines (I think). Its a bit too short to crittique really but I think that if you gave it a good title, it should complete it perfectly.

User avatar
Swottielottie
Review
Swottielottie wrote a review Review · Aug 29, 2007

It was very short but I think that was what made it so good.
I think I got the hidden message but i'm not so sure. I don't think you should tell people what it means because is more mysterious and flexible if people make their own minds up.
I agree Save- Ferris the use of the words skewed and refuge made it unique.
I have to say, i love it jasmine.
My suggestion for the title is,
Refuge but i havn't really thought too hard.
Charlotte

User avatar
-Save-Ferris-
Review
-Save-Ferris- wrote a review Review · Aug 29, 2007

I liked the shortness of this poem. There was definetly a hidden message in here somewhere that will take a while to crack.
I think you made great word choices with the "skewed" and "refuge."

I think it was brillaitn x]

~ferris AKA Tara~

User avatar
iQuippie
Review
iQuippie wrote a review Review · Aug 24, 2007

Okay, this is going to sound enormously stupid, but... I'm not sure if I get it. Again, stupid. HEY I'M JUST A FRICKIN KID! GIMME A BREAK!! oh, sorry, the voices were yell- nevermind.
There's nothing to criticize you on because it was so short. Maybe make it longer? Either way, it had a nice flow.

User avatar
Rydia
Comment
Rydia commented Comment · Jun 4, 2007

Hi Jasmine!

Let me see... Well I have to admit that it's a little short but it has a nice beat to it and the words flow together well. Simple and meaningful. Very good =)

User avatar
Mad
Review
Mad wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2007

Simple yet with a hidden meaning. I can't really comment or make any criticisms it's too short to do that. All I can say is that it's very similar to prose. You could pretty much read the lines as a single paragraph and it would make sense.

I like your use of refuge, I don't really know why - it sort of suits the poem.



The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do.
— Harold Coffin